18 long months had passed since SCRFC’s first XV last made their way out onto the pitch at Frant Road for a league encounter, and to say that there was a sense of anticipation would be an understatement.

After going 3/3 during pre-season, Strets welcomed Wandsworthians at home as we looked to kickstart our promotion campaign in front a group of revellers who were as pleased as the players to be back down enjoying league rugby.

We were lead out on the day by a seasoned Captain-Vice Captain pairing of former prop Charlie P and Max, demonstrating the value the club places on front row expertise in the leadership.

Despite some difficulty under the Wandsworthian kick off (more to come on this later), Strets made a promising start with some patient forwards play and strong centre running from Lamont and Charlie. This dominance eventually paid off, with Streatham’s own Emerald Isle bad man Adam ‘Shewee’ Sheehy weaving in under the posts for the opening score, on dayboo no less. He was also on kicking duties for the day, slotting home numerous conversions despite only having one functioning ankle.

It became apparent that the Claret horde was too much for our Wandsworthian visitors, with another great attacking passage of play down the right hand side topped off by another league debutant, Dave Tonks, being put in in the far corner. Tonks would later take things up a notch at the clubhouse, downing 3/4 of a pint of port before setting off for a romantic date, off his cannister - respect.

Now 17-0 up, we had the wind in our sails, but some ill-discipline allowed Wandsworthians to send a penalty kick flying high into the Strets 22. This was met with powerhouse winger Dan Pinns putting in one of the most ferocious, well-timed hits we had ever seen. The slight drawback of course being that the recipient of this hit was none other than SCRFC’s own 15, Tom O’Connor. A testament to our intra-team discipline and hardcore mentality, this proved that no one is above the law at Streatham, especially your own teammate.

Seemingly amused by this passage of play, the Wandsworthian captain made a quip at the next lineout, a move he would soon regret, with former captain Barney Barnes flying in with a hand-off that was just above waist height, sending his opposite number reeling. The ref however clearly had a different version of events and rewarded Barney with a 10 minute break amongst the spectators.

Handbags put to the side, play resumed with another 2 tries before half time from Lamont and Charlie, both converted by Shewee. We were denied another score after our prop-slash-flanker and serious tin shifter Robb Montgomery went on a spellbinding run for half of the pitch, touching down what was ultimately deemed a held-up ball by the ref. However, we still went into the break 31-0 up

The second half began, to continued trouble regaining control from the Wandsworthian kick off, with the author of this report in particular calling for the ball but being caught out by a vicious, last-minute gust of wind from the restart. ‘Only a superhuman would have caught that’ muttered someone from the sidelines. What happened next is now a blur, so here goes nothing.

Continued dominance in the scrum and lineout provided a strong platform for our back line to pull the strings, which allowed Ibby, Charlie and Shewee to touch down in quick succession, essentially sealing victory in front of a satisfied troop of onlookers. Not content with stopping there, Barney Barnes, now released from his holding cell, drove the dagger in with one of the standout tries of the match, breaking the Wandsworthian line around the half-way mark and crashing down under the posts after a searing run. Two more tries followed with Dan P and Ibby both touching down to round out a comprehensive 70-0 victory to kickstart our promotion campaign.

Despite several work ons and sterner tests ahead, Streatham were rightly pleased with the result and celebrated adequately in the clubhouse bar, before next week’s challenge against fellow title contenders Old Paulines.

MOTM: Sheehy
DOTD: Lou (you’re welcome Pinns)